Where is my Patience?

Patience” I Am Patience” my affirmation all the time.

I catch myself when I have lost it. The more I try… haha try’ the more I lose it.

Sometimes it’s like 0-Bitch in 2 seconds….with a quickness!!! If ever I tested myself with anything, I feel this is it!!

Everyday is a test in our faith, trust,love,gratitude,hope….

Judgement,power, truth….

and yes Patience!! So many more things we are tested and usually (for me) the ones I feel that I struggle with most are the ones that are chosen for me to be tested!! Yep… The ones I must work on, so of course this BIG one for me is going to get lost and then come back once I catch it.

I ask for help with this, I pray, I catch myself losing it and I still struggle even when I turn it into positive.

I even defended losing my patience with going through menopause(there’s a pill for that mood stuff BTW) and I was home alone. I do talk to myself, this is a form of figuring it out…outloud. We all know this…..right? 😉

What makes me feel the absolute WORST is losing it toward my husband when it isn’t even him that did anything. It is a vibe that I have from something else. Don’t get me wrong, though I did say bitch earlier, I’m really not a screaming maniac! It’s just a few snips here and there. I just feel like one when I am a happy go lucky woman. I need to add my grandchildren to this  though I know they can be a test of patience like all children……BUT…… I feel bad in all situations that I loose my Patience!!

Last but not least is what I believe to be a HUGE part of where my patience has gone… “ELECTRONIC TECHNOLOGY ” Phones and Computers!!! The way of the future that has drug us into it’s grasp and has no intentions of letting us go!!! I am connected like more than half the world and I am sure like many of us, the second a page doesn’t load, freezes, battery dies, a dropped call or no Service!! There goes my Patience….”it never fails” … Damn thing!! Computers suck… I’m getting rid of it” oHH and the best one…” I’M GOING TO THROW THIS ACROSS THE ROOM”!!!!!

Ughh… have been there!! I wonder? As much as we need all of this technology. Our future is ultimately going in that direction. Are we being pulled away from it by another source. Something in the universe that may not want our future to turn out so reliant on machines?

There are days as of late that I have felt that way. Day’s that I need to walk away and disconnect myself from the computer all together. If I sit and try to keep going I get irritating vibes and there goes my patience. It seems to come from within like there is energy pulling me away. I’m not saying that a lagging internet or an update doesn’t frazzle me.

I am looking for an answer that I have not yet gotten from within myself or otherwise.

I consider this a journal entry because when we journal it is  a form of prayer… So God, Mother Mary, My guides and Angels… I ask for your help with this now ♥ amen

The need to “Rant”

I’m not sure how things work where you are from….but…Here we have many charities that help the needy. I’m sure we all know the routine. There is either a donation box pretty much everywhere you go or you receive a phone call and even commercials.

There is another way of donating especially around the holidays for instance, the biggest one of all… Salvation Army… their bells ring all Christmas season at your local grocery store, walmart.. etc.

This particular one I am having a huge issue with, especially today!! 


Besides the Fire Department, I think These are the only Charity Group that stand in the center of the road at MANY intersections asking for Donations, then they give you a Tootsie Roll.

What a safety hazard, for one!! These men and women are not construction workers so this is a risk taken on their own free will!! I have not researched how many are injured or die per year… but… I have a feeling there are some. This kind of thing is bound to happen when you are standing on the center line “between” Traffic!!!!

Today I saw something that I could not believe!!!

I am not sure if this was the man’s Daughter or Granddaughter about the age 12-13 Standing on that center line along with him!!!

This brings me to wonder.. HOW DESPERATE !!!!!


are to bring in children to “play” in the road…

Aren’t we always telling them to stay out of the road!! That child has no idea of the true danger that the man had put her in. She is just excited because she get’s to help!!! I am astonished at what I saw and this is why I needed to rant this out because in “My Opinion” that is just not right!!! I feel that there are many other ways this child can help and still be fulfilled!!

I pray for this young ladies safety throughout the day and into her future and may her choices always suit her highest good ♥ and that those making the choices for her choose safety first~

P.S. The Knights Of Columbus are a Do wonderful charity, this I am not knocking…. it is the judgement of those who serve I do not necessarily agree with….

For Those That Struggle…

For those that struggle.. My heart reaches out…

I have no doubt that yours is sincere…

For mine is always near…

From the depths of dept.. you find a smile..

knowing that you have walked many of miles…

Tired and weak you find your strength…

In knowing each day is a blessing…

For those that struggle.. May peace be yours..

I Pray ♥

Many a day for contentment….

For those who struggle to struggle no more..